Certified Rebel

Life is Unfair....This is How it Should be!!!

2008-03-26T14:52:00.001-07:00

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What is that, a bonus?

I think the cycle is all backwards. You should die first. Get it out of the way. Then live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young. You get a gold watch and you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs and alcohol. You party. You get ready for High School. You go to grade school and become a kid. You play. You have no responsibilities. You become a baby. You go into the womb. You spend your last nine months floating...you finish off as an orgasm.

Perspective...

2007-04-09T06:21:00.000-07:00

It's not just enough to picture yourself in someone else's shoes

In order to get a full understanding of what's going on with them,sometimes you have to walk around the block a couple of times.

Afterward, however, you'll have an entirely different perspective on the person they actually are, as opposed to the person that you assumed they were.

...and that just might change EVERYTHING.

Lincoln and Kennedy

2007-04-05T20:39:00.000-07:00

No history teacher told us the following

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost a child while living in the WhiteHouse.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born 1839
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born 1939

Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Now hang on to your seat !

Lincoln was shot at the theater named "Ford."
Kennedy was shot in a car called "Lincoln" made by "Ford."

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.

And here's the "kicker":

A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe,Maryland.
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with MarilynMonroe.

Lincoln was shot in a theater and the assassin ranto a warehouse.
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse(stock room in a library) and the assassin ran to a theater.

Creepy, huh? Send this to as many people as you can, because:this is one history lesson people don't mind reading ! !

SUPER "RAJNI" STAR

2007-03-31T15:25:00.001-07:00

There is a popular story saying that wherever you go, you will find atleast a Rajinikanth fan, here is an interesting new story!...Rajinikanth was bragging to Jayalalitha one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone- anyone, & I know them." Tired of his boasting, Jayalalitha asked, "OK, Rajini how about Tom Cruise?" "Sure yes, Tom & I are old friends, I can prove it" Rajini said. So Rajini & Jayalalitha fly out to Hollywood & knock on Tom Cruise's door, & sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts "Thalaiva! Great to see you! You & your friend come right in & join me for lunch!". Although impressed, Jayalalitha is still skeptical.

After they leave Cruise's house, she tells Rajini that she thinks Rajini knowing Cruise was just lucky. "No, no, just name anyone else" Rajini says. "President Bush", Jayalalitha quickly retorts. "Yes", Rajini says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington". And off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Rajini on the tour & motions him, saying, "Rajini, what a surprise! I was just on my way to a meeting, but you & your friend come on in, let's have a cup of coffee first & catch up". Well, Jayalalitha is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds, she expresses her doubts to Rajini who again implores her to name anyone else. "The Pope", Jayalalitha replies. "Sure!" says Rajini, "My folks are from Poland & I've known the Pope a long time".

So off they fly to Rome. Rajini & Jayalalitha are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Rajini says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs & I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope." And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican.

Sure enough, half an hour later Rajini emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Rajini returns, he finds that Jayalalitha had a Heart Attack & is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to Jayalalitha's side, Rajini asks her, "What happened?" Jayalalitha looks up & says, "I was doing fine until you & the Pope came out on the balcony & the man next to me said, "Who's that on the balcony with Rajini?"...

That's SUPER "RAJNI" STAR

Thanks to YOU...

2007-03-30T23:46:00.001-07:00

I want to thank all my friends and other unknown people who haveforwarded chain letters to me in 2003, 2004 & 2005 and 2006.

Because of your kindness :

I stopped drinking Coca-Cola after I found out that it's good only for removing toilet stains.

I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS

I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.

I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me todial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with callstoUganda,Singapore and Tokyo.

I also stopped drinking water outside for fear that I will get sick fromthe rat shit and urine.

When I go to parties, I don't look at any girl, no matter how hot sheis, for fear that she will take me to a hotel, drug me, then take my kidneys and leave me taking a napin a bathtub full of ice.

I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girlthat was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times.(Poor girl! she's been 7 since 1993...)

My free Nokia phone never arrived and neither did the free passes for apaid vacation to Disneyland.

Made some Hundred wishes before forwarding those Dalai Lama, GaneshVandana, Tirupathi Balaji pics etc..Now most of those "Wishes" are already married(to someone else)!

Nobody is giving free ipods for joining some community on orkut.

If ORKUT deletes my account, it doesn't matter BUT PLEASE DON'T SEND me"Orkut isdeleting accounts: Due to sudden rush..." Otherwise I'll delete you from my list!

IMPORTANT NOTE:If you do not send this e-mail to at least 913760 people in the next 10 seconds,a bird will shit on your head today at 6:30 p.m.

Give me a break!!

Destiny or Hard Work

2007-03-09T02:13:00.000-08:00

DESTINY:
Destiny or Fate concerns the fixed natural order of the universe. It is the invincible necessity to which even the gods must accede. Destiny refers to a predetermined course of events.
(These are the definitions that I got when I typed define: destiny in GOOGLE
Simply put: There is no action done by the doer and no free will that the doer thinks he is doing. Some say God's will, but even but point is even God's have to given into this. Lord Rama had to spend 14 years in forest.....split from his wife for a long time. Pandavas had to leave their kingdom....Draupadi their wife was insulted in front of 100's of courtiers of their own kingdom. Am I being fair here...huh!!! Even God is not spared from Destiny.

In short:
The word “destiny” has two meanings in the dictionary:
1) The seemingly inevitable succession of events or
2) Your fate. Destiny means something in the future must happen and will happen even if difficult.

HARD WORK:
Go to the same great search engine called GOOGLE and type define: hard work.......see what you get!!!...Nothing…..type practice then u get the results…I mean it too….only if u practice then u get the results

I would define Hard work as.....practicing what you learn in a class so many times that it sits in your brain.

Practice makes perfect…they didn’t say Hard work:

The best people in any field are those who devote the most hours to what the researchers nowadays call "deliberate practice." Its activity that's intended to improve performance which is done to surpass one's level of competence and involves high levels of repetition.

Ex:
Learning a type writer....initially we wood be searching for the letters...what happens after a while. Is it Hard work or Practice???

Hard work according to me is....something like below

Physically Challenging:
Like Erik Weihenmayer (the first blind man to scale the highest mountain in the world) or like the sportsmen in Special Olympics. That’s HARD WORK

OR

Mentally Challenging:
Someone like Shah Rukh Khan (Lost his Dad at 15yrs ...Mom at 25 yrs ....Sister Lala a psychiatric patient even now) still becoming the Megastar of Indian Cinema in the shortest period of time (forget his acting or dancing skills). That’s HARD WORK

HARD WORK in short is like beating the Six Sigma System :)

Hard work is not the regular things we do like…..traveling in a car for 60 miles to go to work….or coming to US as a student and doing odd jobs for 70 hrs per week … (coz u didn’t wanna practice and get a good score and ensure full scholarship)…doesn’t qualify anyone to be Hard workers….only the above 2 kind of examples will fall in the Hard work category. Period.

Do I sound like a person who doesn't believe in Hard work (Hard work...as per ur definition)? You are right....I don't.

Beat This:
Not everybody who works hard is guaranteed such success. Furthermore, in some cases, hard work may not be needed at all. During the dot.com craze in the mid to late 90's, 60 millionaires were being created a day. Yet few of those dotcoms had a sound business plan or idea. Amazon.com, one of the biggest dotcoms around, never posted a positive quarter, yet Jeff Bezos is now one of the richest people in the world. That’s DESTINY

In politics particularly, image is now arguably the most important factor. In the recent United States Presidential Election, Al Gore's role as Vice-President, and his hard work in helping steer America to record-breaking levels of economic growth counted for nothing, as George W. Bush managed to beat him, by projecting a friendlier image than Al Gore. Thus, hard work in this case was clearly not enough. That’s DESTINY

PICTURE THIS:
-How many times have you seen a star’s son run from pillar to post …just to be cast in a film?
-How many times have you seen a politician’s son work hard to become an MLA?
-How many times have you seen a businessman’s son start his career from a clerk in his dad’s office?

Is this Hard work???

-Did Abhishek Bachchan or Hrithik Roshan run to every casting agency to be cast in a film?
-Did Rahul Gandhi beg political parties to give him a ticket?
-Did Anil or Mukesh Ambani beg for jobs?

After such a cushion these people and others have got. Is this Hard work!!! If you get the same cushion, you work hard too.

That’s Destiny people!!! D E S T I N Y!!! …Not Hard Work for God’s Sake!!!

Conclusion:
If Hard work was so fair...then no one would be dejected EVER, and it would have paid back properly….Tendulkar would hit every ball for a SIX and McGrath would keep on taking Hat Tricks!

Yeah there has to be Practice in everything we do….

But what irritates me the most is……….when we sit for hours together practice something to perfect it…..and people say….he left having fun and concentrated only on cricket!!!……….Well that’s why he became Tendulkar and we are running after him. Another reason why he needs to practice is….coz the other team’s bowlers would be practicing too….RIGHTT!!!

Someone could leave their job and try to become (say) an Actor. Your Hard work might make you one....but only your Destiny can make u a Super Star!!!

In Films:
That’s why, even though there are people with Greater Talent than Abhishek, Suniel Shetty, Akshay Kumar....like Manoj Bajpai et al....still the former are considered bigger stars.
Hrithik with some 6 Super Hits as a Solo Hero (Great Dancing Ability, Great Body....that’s Hard work) is considered LESS THAN Abhishek Bachchan(No dancing skills....no body) with 18 flops in a row and still needs to register a Hit at the box office as a SOLO Hero (That’s Destiny).

In Sports:
VVS Laxman is much much better Batsman (That’s Hard work) than Dinesh Mongia, Parthiv Patel combined.....was he selected for World 2003 & even 2007??? (That’s Destiny)...But Parthiv n Dinesh were a part of the squad...they didn’t play a single match though....that’s a different story.

In Politics: (nothing against this family…just to prove my point)
Is it Hard work or Destiny that India is being ruled by a Non-Indian….is it Hard work or Destiny to marry the Son of a Prime Minister?…..the same Son becoming the Prime Minister after his mother’s death….he entered w/o knowing the abc’s of politics.
Now this Non-Indian’s Son is going to be touted for being the next Prime Minister of India….did he put in Hard work…..anyone is more than willing to put in more amount of Hard work if they are to be the youngest Prime Minister of India ;)
They are destined….none of them except their Great Grand Father who worked hard to build their empire.

Destiny or Hard work???
I’m going in for 90% Destiny coupled with 10% Practice!!!

Still on the Hard work thingy….well….I give u people 5 years to go to the MOON or becoming an Oscar Award winner….Lemme see if HARD WORK or 100% Practice will help u Succeed…hehe

“When we cannot decide our Birth and when we cannot decide our Death....who are we to say that all the things happening in between are coz of our actions.”

DK

MALLU JOGS (jokes)..WHY??? ZIMBLY!!!

2007-03-07T22:52:00.000-08:00

MALLU JOGS (jokes) ......( pun intended :D )

Q: A smart Malayalee?
-Debo-nair.
Q: A dynamic Malayalee?
-Pheno-Menon.
Q: Why did the Malayalee crossed the road?
-Zimbly.
Q: What do you call a very rich Malayalee?
-MillionIyer.
Q: How does a malayalee spell the word 'MOON' ?
-YEM - O yet another O YEN.
Q: Why did the Mallu go abroad?
-To do his YEM BE YA (MBA)
Q: What does a Mallu name his dog?
-DOBER-MENON

Why did the Malayalee cross the road?
- To join the union on the other side.
How does a Malayalee travel in Chembur?
- BY an ODO (Auto)
Where did the malayalee study?
- In the kollage.
What did the Malayalee do when the plane caught fire?
- He JEMBED out of the VINDOW...
Why did he go to Rome?
- To hear POPE music

What does a Malayalee do when he has to stand for election in Delhi?
-He changes his name. Madhavan to M A DHAWAN.

What does a Malayalee do to stand for elections in New York?
-He changes his name. Karunakaran to KEVIN CURREN

What would you call a Mallu martial arts expert?
-A MalayaLEE

Why does a Malayalee go to a temple?
-Zimply to Bray.

Name the only part of the WERLD (yeah it is WERLD), where Malayalis dont werk hard?
-Kerala
Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
-Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi
Why did Saddam Hussain attack Kuwait?
-He had a Mallu baby-sitter, who always used to say 'KEEP QUWAIT' 'KEEP QUWAIT'

THE BEST EVER MALLU JOKE (read the italicized with a mallu accent):
A Mallu female (from the heart of Kerala) went for a job interview for the post of a SECRETARY. When the manager saw the Mallu's colorful attire and gold and well oiled uncombed jet black hair, his mind was screaming, "NOT THIS WOMAN."

Nevertheless, he still had to entertain the Mallu. So he told her "If you could form a sentence using the words that I give you, then may be I will give you a chance! The words are GREEN, PINK, YELLOW, BLUE, WHITE, PURPLE and BLACK."

The enthusiastic Mallu lady thought for a while and said :
"I hear the phone GREEN GREEN GREEN, then I go and PINK up the phone, I say YELLOW......BLUE's that? WHITE did you say? Aiye, Wrong number ........Don't PURPLELY disturb people and don't call BLACK, ok? Thank you."

The Manager fainted..................

True Hyderabadi....

2007-03-07T11:34:00.000-08:00

You are a true Hyderabadi if:

1. Your address reads as 23-404-32/67A-43 (New MCH number 56-678/4A/B-22), while you actually live in the second house beside Zamzam cafe in lane behind Anand Theatre on SP Road .

2. You end up buying only a salwar kameez, whether it is a theatre workshop, food mela, consumer expo, designer jewellery show, science show or an automobile convention.

3. Your street has at least one roadside mobile hotel that serves Chinese delicacies such as "Vegetable soft needles", "Navrotten Kurma", "Chicken Manchewurea" or "American Chompsee".

4. Your answer is 'seedha chale jao' when somebody asks you for directions, whether it is to Malakpet, Masab Tank, Malkajgiri or Moosapet.

5. You come across tailors sporting the board: Immidiot delivery in two days onli.

6. Except Telugu,You can speak Hindi, Urdu, Hyderabadi Hinglish fluently.

7. You ask the waiter to get you some 'Mango pickle' even if you are sitting at a lavish continental banquet dinner with exotic Chinese, Mexican,Italian and Lebanese cuisines.

8. You order for a tea just after having had a Caramel custard.

9. You have at least one Srinivas,Prasad, Raju or Venkatesh within six square feet. OR you have at least one cousin, friend, colleague or acquaintance with these names.

10. You have at least one cousin, friend, colleague or acquaintance in the US in software.

11. Everytime somebody gives you a piece of good news, the first thing you ask them is 'Party kab hain?'

12. Refer to any past as 'parso', be it yesterday or long before three hundred years.

13. You call 11 AM as subah subah.

14. You label your boss as 'Dimakh Kharab'

15. You are 15 minutes late and you feel you are on time.

16. You look at the fixed price stand and still ask 'dene ka bolo'

My Additions:

17. You call everyone and anyone BOSS...except ur Boss in Office

18. If 3 friends go to an Irani cafe....u order "2 chai ek empty"......if 4 people go.."3 chai ek empty" and so on...

19. You call the waiter in that cafe as "Heroooo"

20. You make that hissing sound followed by the word Boss......to address a stranger

21. You have Chinese mobile hotels...which are named as "Mahalaxmi chinese food....Satya Sai chinese food"

You are secretly admitting to all these and thanking your luck to be a Citizen of the Greatest City of the World...We are Blue Blooded Man!!! HYDERABADIs ROCK!!!

Which one is you??..I'm a Sagiii

2007-03-06T15:33:00.000-08:00

Below aretrue descriptions of zodiac signs, with traits from a book written 35years ago by an astrologist predictionist.

.:VIRGO:. The Virgin
Dominant in relationships. Sexy. someone loves them right now. Freak inbed. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Intellectual.Attractive. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Hard to forget Love at firstsight.Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only. Ultimatesexiness.

.:SCORPIO:. The sex addict
Can be mean. EXTREMELY sexy. Intelligent. Energetic. Predict future.Most erotic. (Freak in bed.) (GREAT kisser.) Always get what they want.Sexy. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationships.Talkative. The sexiest ever....Romantic. Caring.

.:LIBRA:. The lame lover
Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone They meet. Their Love isone of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique sexiness. Mostcaring person you will ever meet! Amazing n Bed..!!! Did I say AmazinginBed? not the kind of person you wanna #### with... u might end upcrying... the most irresistible.

.:ARIES:. The Liar
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontanious. Not one to #### with. Erotic. Funny.Take you on trips to the moon in bed. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY sexy.Loves being in long relationships.=) Addictive. Loud. best in bed.

.:AQUARIUS:. Does it in the water
Trustworthy. Sexy. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being inlong-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Willexceed yourexpectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out. Amazing inbed, THE BEST LOVERS BETTER THAN EVERYONE!

.:GEMINI:. Does Twosomes
Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good in bed. Lovernot a fighter, but will still knock you the #### out. Trustworthy.Alwayshappy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Hasa beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. ULTRA SEXY. THE MOST IRRESISTABLE.

.:LEO:. The Lion in bed
Great talker. Sexy and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to have fun. Isreally good at. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth.Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships.Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found.

.:CANCER:. The Cutie
MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high ### appeal. Great in bed!!! Love is oneof a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet!Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak in bed.Spontaneous. Great tellin stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock yourlights outif it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to.

.:PISCES:. The Piece of ass
Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. Too Sexy, DAMN IT. Veryhigh ### appeal. Has the last word. The best to find, hardest to keep.Fun to be around. Freak in the sheets. Extremely weird but in a goodway.Super good in bed. Good Sense of Humor!!! Thoughtful. A partner forlife. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular.Silly, fun and sweet.

.:CAPRICORN:. The passioate Lover
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Predict future.Irrestible, awesome kisser. Loves being in long relationships. Greattalker.Always gets what he or she wants. BY FAR the BEST in BED. Very sexy.Coolest. Loves to own Gemini's in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke.Loves to be your first. So you'll never forget. Smart.

.:TAURUS:. The Tramp
Aggressive. Freak in bed. Rare to find! Loves being in longrelationships.=] Likes to give a good fight for what they want.Extremelyoutgoing. Sexy as ........ Loves to help people in times of need.Outstandingkisser. Very funny. Awesome personality. Stubborn. Sexual as .........Most caring person you will ever meet! One of a kind. Not one to ####with.

.:SAGITTARIUS:. The Sexy one
Spontaneous. Horny. Freak in Bed. High appeal. Rare to find. Great whenfound. Loves being in long relationships. The one. So much love togive. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice toeveryoneThey meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have ownunique sexiness. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing inBed..!!! Did I say AMAZING IN BED? Not the kind of person you wanna # ## #with you might end up crying.

Cheers DK ;)

I'm what I'm...

2007-03-05T17:27:00.000-08:00

I write what comes to my mind....in proper and error free(grammar wise) english.

Im neither an author nor a writer to create the aura ...or a journalist to be diplomatic.

If I feel I'm good at something...I will put it here and vice versa.
If I feel you are Good/Bad at something....same thing

I deal in Facts and my write ups would be close to that of my Bailiwick (which are way too many btw)...but I meant that... I will write like a Marketing Research Major

precise and crisp in THEORY ,
Detailed, spoon feeding type in EXAMPLES(all real life ones ...personal or otherwise)

Comments and suggestions are welcome about the content!!!*

Thanks
DK

* Conditions Apply :D